I’ve began to re read my Bible from cover to cover and as I’ve flipped through the pages I feel my story pales in comparison. My problems look very small next to Abraham’s as he climbs a mountain to sacrifice the son he had waited for for his entire life. Or next to Noah as he scrambled to build an ark to save himself and his family from the destruction of the world. I mean the entire world as he knew is was coming to an end. Literally.
And I felt like the fact that my husband left dirty dishes in the sink, my spilt coffee and the traffic that made me late to work was something to pout about. Umm, hello reality check. I don’t know about you but I know that these trivial things point to a much deeper problem. I realize that these things show a heart issue: my addiction to convenience.
Now say what you want but I know fully well I am not the only one who feels like the walls of my world are crumbling around me if things don’t go exactly as I planned. Oh, and I’m not even talking about big plans. I’m talking more along the lines of every day little problems. Didn’t get out of the door exactly at 9:00am like I planned? Que meltdown. My favorite shirt is still in the wash machine? Yep, there goes my good mood. Someone ate the last Oreo in the box (yes, honey I’m talking about you)? You betcha, my whole entire day just went from good to bad and don’t even try to pull me outta the funk cause it just ain’t happening.
It feels both a little silly and super vulnerable to share this about myself. It’s not like I want to walk around with a giant sign pointing at my head flashing “Worlds greatest pity party thrower”. But yet, by walking around and letting my mood and outlook be dictated by these inconveniences I am essentially doing just that.
If I fake it til I make it will I just magically have a complete change of heart? Um, probably not. Well, first of all I am terrible at faking it and secondly I do not believe that by sweeping your emotions under the rug you will ever solve any of your issues. No, I think that you have to dive deeper.
It’s time to confront yourself as uncomfortable as it may be.
Stop writing this negative side of your personality off. Stop hiding behind your excuses and labeling yourself as a “Type A” personality or Enneagram type one wing whatever. Just stop. It’s time to take a long hard look in the mirror and face up to your problems and let. them. go.
I say all of this out of love and with the deepest humility. As someone who is walking with you through this journey I understand how difficult it can be to let go, to surrender. Even as I type this sentence my heart begins to flutter. But I am not asking you to let go of control and release your problems in to the universe, wish on a shooting start, and hope really hard things don’t get out of hand. No, I’m asking you to leave your pride, your control, and your neediness at the cross. Lay it down.
Friend, I beg you to understand that you do not know whats best. Maybe your’e a little like me and tend to get ahead of yourself when you start to take control and before you know it things are getting a little crazy… like that one time I thought I could do it all and wound up melting an entire plastic lid in the oven… but we’ll save that story for anothertime 😉
My point is we have limitations and boundaries. We cannot do it all but we have a God who can. A God who has plans for our futures; good plans, really, really good plans. When we let God take over and trust His plans I think you will see a huge shift in your perspective.
It was like a much needed slap in the face when Valerie Woerner points out in her book, Grumpy Mom Takes a Holiday,
“Jesus striped himself of all privileges and rightful dignity. He loved us so much that He gave up the status He deserved for a bunch of sinners. Including me. His dignity was rightful – in other words, he’d earned it; he deserved it. But he gave it all up because of love.”
Dirty dishes in the sink? Roll up those sleeves and get to work.
That spilt coffee? Girl, wipe it up and move on.
Husband ate the last Oreo? Well, that one I’m still working on…
All the sudden these problems don’t really seem like such big problems, do they?
Y’all I know! I get it! You know all of this and still your hands get a little sweaty when you think of just passing off the torch to someone else (or is that just me?). Friendly reminder, you’re not passing the torch off to just anyone. No ma’am (or sir), you are passing it off to the one who made you! The one who knows the numbers of hairs on your head, that you like to sing a little (read: completely) off key to the backstreet boys in the shower and you keep a stash of candy in your bedside drawer – just in case. There really isn’t anyone better for the job.
No one said this would be for the faint of heart and it is not something that you will see progress in over night. It’s like working out a muscle; (not that I know much about working out) progress happens little by little. While you might feel a little burn now before you know it it won’t be more than an afterthought.
And I promise sweet friend it is so worth it.